


teaching him selfishness

by basinnit



Series: 100 days of writing challenge [21]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Atsumu works in a club, Explicit Language, Kissing, Kuroo works with Atsumu, M/M, Making Out, Mentioned Tendou Satori, Mentioned Terushima Yuuji, Miya Atsumu being insecure, Osamu and Sakusa are roommates, Strangers to Lovers, kinda top sakusa, mentioned dick sucking, the first part is like full angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:28:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25445407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/basinnit/pseuds/basinnit
Summary: Never in his life, Miya Atsumu wanted anything for himself. He was used to sharing everything with his brother and staying in the shadow. The world was Osamu's and Atsumu was there just to prevent anyone from taking it away from his twin. He was raised like that and not even for a second of his life he wanted it to be the other way around. Yet as he looked at the tall man standing in front of him, face blank, black hair falling onto his face slightly, his whole body filled with greed and selfishness.He never wanted anything for himself before, but after meeting Sakusa Kiyoomi he was sure he needed just one little thing for himself only.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Series: 100 days of writing challenge [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1798981
Comments: 7
Kudos: 246





	teaching him selfishness

**Author's Note:**

> me: write top sakusa for once
> 
> my brain: how about no *stops just before they're fucking*
> 
> *slides in*
> 
> good morning my sweet kids of Jesus.   
> at first, I want to say that I'm sorry for not posting for a bunch of days. the time I was off from posting every day was rough to me in a personal sense of that, but I'm settling things down and getting better. at least I think so. this piece was started four fucking days ago and while reading it you can clearly see when I started writing already feeling better. I hope you will enjoy it, I'm leaving, hopefully until tomorrow! 
> 
> day023: temptation

Atsumu lived in the shadow. He gladly accepted that years ago, letting his twin brother shine. He stood there, getting scolded for breathing and sending his twin a warm smile at the praises Osamu was receiving. Osamu was better than him. Making friends came easier for him, he had better grades and cooked better. He woke up with a better hairstyle and somehow his hair color suited him more. He had the bigger room and it was always cleaner than Atsumu’s. He was more liked in class. He was just better.

It was fine with Atsumu. He considered himself a better brother because he was never greedy. Never selfish. Never wanting anything for himself. Having a twin had its pros and cons and with Osamu being the better one, he could just slack off a little bit. It was annoying to be always compared to Osamu. However, sometimes it allowed him to do absolutely nothing, be the black sheep of the family. They had expectations for Osamu, not for Atsumu. And it was good. 

He didn’t go to college as Osamu did. Straight out of high school he found himself a job and stayed home, saving some money to rent a small apartment somewhere. Nothing too big or too fancy because if he achieved that, some people could think he was able to do shit better than Osamu. He wasn’t.

He chose the uglier hair dye. He wore worse matched clothes in high school. He liked other stuff Osamu did because Osamu’s interests were more important. He passed his exams well, but with a lower score than Osamu even if he knew he could have done better.

He wasn’t greedy or selfish. He didn’t want to be his own person. Being Osamu’s twin was enough.

He shared everything with Osamu. The womb, the room when they were younger, clothes and friends, the same eyes and hair before they dyed them. He didn’t want anything to be his own.

“Oh, there’s two of you. You look just like Osamu, other Miya.” The guy said softly, scanning Atsumu with his eyes.

Atsumu wasn’t greedy.

It was one of the weekends Osamu came home. This time, he took a friend with him. “A roommate from the dorms,” he said, adding that he wanted Sakusa Kiyoomi to meet them because he was talking a lot about them. Bragging about having a twin, not that there was anything to brag about when Atsumu Miya was no one. 

Sakusa Kiyoomi was a tall, really tall guy with two moles just above his eyebrow. His face was relaxed, eyes dark and focused, lips turned down just a little bit. His hair was black, falling onto his face partly, a little long and curvy, looking strong and healthy. His voice was soft, honey-like and he spoke with some sort of confidence that wasn’t annoying on him. He stood straight, arms however hanging awkwardly on his sides, like he didn’t know what to do with them, relaxed in his legs. His clothes were black, hugging every curve on his body in a stunning way, exposing his broad shoulders and slim waist in such sweet way he looked like an angel.

Atsumu wasn’t greedy. He never wanted anything for himself. He never even thought about taking anything away from his brother, up to the moment when Osamu stuck his head out of the kitchen he went into to meet their mother and smiled brightly at Sakusa Kiyoomi.

“Kiyo! Take off the jacket, Tsumu will get you some slippers and come in. Tsumu! Will you get his bag into my room?” Osamu asked, and all Atsumu could do was nod and watch.

He watches as Sakusa Kiyoomi took off his black jacket, exposing more of his black turtleneck. He moved with grace and sent Atsumu a really small, grateful smile when the blonde gave him some comfy slippers for the guests. He took Sakusa’s also black bag, a little heavy for just one weekend at Miya’s, but he stayed quiet and walked up the stairs, placing the bag in Osamu’s room carefully.

He took a shaky breath in, exhaled with the same hesitation, and frowned at the way his hands were shaking. 

His phone rang, bringing him back down to earth and he was met with a message from Kuroo, the guy he was working with. He sighed, pushed his phone back into his pocket trying to focus on counting how many cups of coffee he was gonna need to survive the night.

He walked down the stairs, not having the time or strength to let his mind wander over how the squeaks under his feet brought back the memories of his childhood. He stormed into the kitchen, ignoring everyone and opening the cupboard to snatch the blue cup with a giraffe, the favorite one he had for years.

The place stood empty.

He furrowed his eyes and turned around, ready to ask his mother where it was, yet his eyes met Osamu. Osamu Miya, the better twin, holding Atsumu’s blue cup with a giraffe. Atsumu almost frowned. 

He said nothing, only turning around once again and snatching another cup, plain and white. He placed it on the counter maybe a little bit too roughly, because Sakusa Kiyoomi seemed to flinch at the loud, sudden noise.

“Sorry.” He mumbled only, starting to make himself his coffee.

“Right! Tsumu, we’re having dinner tonight, it would be nice to eat with parents, you and Kiyo!” Osamu said, hugging their mother close. She never let Atsumu hug her like that. He clenched the white cup in his hand.

“Can’t. Have a shift at work.” He said again, trying to avoid looking at anyone. Their mother sighed disapprovingly, and he tried to mentally prepare himself for the scolding.

“You’re only working lately, Atsumu. I don’t remember the last time you sat and had dinner with your father and me.”

Atsumu wanted to laugh and maybe cry at the same time. 

“We’re not doing that when ‘Samu and Sakusa-kun are here. Drop it. If they want they can stop by at the club after dinner. I don’t care.” said Atsumu, pouring himself the coffee. Osamu had been quiet, yet Atsumu felt way too exhausted to care. He clenched the cup and left the kitchen, once again walking upstairs to get ready to work. 

The club he was working at was a nice, quite a big place. Students and adults were wanting to ease the stress a little, and the whole club had a good reputation. Atsumu enjoyed working there somehow always forgetting about the world outside of the door. 

People tipped him well. Mostly women, because he was known for kinda flirting with them but as long as it brought them profit his boss didn’t give a fuck. 

He dressed all black and hid some clothes in a bag to change after work. He often had drinks spilled on him, either on accident or purpose, it didn’t matter. Months of working there taught him to always bring spare shit to work. He threw the bag over his shoulder and skipped down the stairs, leaving without a word. 

The club wasn’t far from his home. During his walk, he tugged the phone out of his pocket and sent the address to Osamu in case he forgot it and wanted to visit him. It was probably a good idea because Atsumu was always in a better state of mind while he was working. He felt a little guilty for acting like a piece of shit when his brother did nothing wrong, but at the same time, he found himself not giving a single shit about it.

He was met by the sight of Kuroo already polishing the glasses before the opening. Kuroo was a nice guy. Their personalities kinda matched, but kinda didn’t. Kuroo liked to look like a player, a teasing grin never leaving his face, yet outside of work, he was a big…  _ nerd.  _ And he was  _ calm.  _ That is unless his best friend was there. Atsumu liked working with him. Kuroo seemed able to bring out Atsumu’s best and he was fucking glad about it. 

“You look like shit, ‘Tsumu” Kuroo said instead of greeting him, and Atsumu rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, no shit. I barely got any sleep.” mumbled Atsumu, stopping by to drop his bag into the staff room and then went back to stand next to Kuroo.

“Your brother is already there?” Kuroo passed him the wiper and Atsumu got into work instantly. He noticed that the new delivery of alcohol was already there, waiting to be placed behind the counter. 

“Mhm. He brought his roommate with him.” The blonde explained, snatching a glass and starting polishing it. 

“Wait. They dating or some shit?” Kuroo’s brows furrowed.

“Nah. At least it doesn’t look that way. I don’t care.” Kuroo snorted at him when Atsumu shrugged. They chattered for a while, setting the whole place for the opening, greeting their boss, and nodding when the man told them they would only cover half of the night.

“I can invite Bo and we can get waster after our shift.” Kuroo suggested and Atsumu nodded his head, carrying a whole box of vodka to its place. 

The night was busy like always. Atsumu found himself falling into his routine, body relaxing to the beat of the song blasting through the speakers. The whole club soon was a mess of sweaty bodies and alcohol, but it was what Atsumu was used to. He snuck some flirty comments here and there, smiling playfully at the clients, leaning against the counter sometimes, making drinks, and serving everything they wanted from him.

“When does your shift end?” The woman asked biting her bottom lip. She was beautiful and if Atsumu didn’t already have plans with Kuroo and Bokuto he would have flirted with her more. 

“Just a couple more hours, but I’m already taken tonight. Sorry, sweetie. Maybe another time.” He said, and the woman sighed, just a little bit disappointed. She didn’t seem to mind tho, because as seconds passed she was leaning against the counter to whisper some dirty shit into Atsumu’s ear.

Osamu sat right next to her, eyes focused on his twin. The woman, however, eyed him and gasped slightly, looking once again at Atsumu.

“Oh, you’re twins… You guys up for a threesome?” She purred, and Atsumu found himself scowling.

“That was… the biggest turn off I had in years.” He mumbled and rolled his eyes when Osamu laughed at it. 

“You shared a womb with me and now you don’t want to fuck someone with me?” Osamu teased.

“That’s exactly why I don’t want it, asshole.”

He passed Osamu the beer he was usually drinking while passing by. He scanned the whole counter with his eyes and noticed that Kuroo got a hang of it, so he let his arms fall onto the wood as he stood there, relaxed, grinning at his twin.

“Good to see ya at ease, ‘Tsumu. Was a little bit worried back home.” Osamu confessed. The blonde knew. He only shrugged, not really wanting to talk about it and destroy his good mood. 

“You took Sakusa here?” He asked, moving a little to pour himself a glass of water.

“Yea. Left him with Bo.” 

Atsumu raised one brow.

“Mister roommate doesn’t look like someone who’s going to enjoy Bo’s bubbly personality.” 

Osamu chuckled, sipping his beer slowly.

“Yer right, but Bo forced Kaashi to come with him, so Kiyo’s going to be fine. Well, I hope so.” 

The crowd next to the counter eased just a little, allowing Kuroo to stop by them and drop his arm around Atsumu’s shoulder, grinning at Osamu.

“Well hello, other Miya. Is your lovely roommate here? I wanna see what you snatched in Tokyo.” The black-haired male moved his eyebrows, making the twins snort at him. 

“He’s back there with Bo and Kaashi. I can call him over if ya want.” Osamu suggested, rolling his eyes at the way Kuroo nodded his head frantically. “Take care of my drink, assholes.”

“What should I expect from a famous roommate?” Kuroo asked, and Atsumu shrugged. He seemed to shrug a lot that night.

“Dunno, don’t know him well. ‘Samu said he doesn’t like loud people.”

Kuroo eyed him.

“How the fuck is he keeping up with the other half of Miya then?”

Atsumu didn’t know.

Sakusa was dressed differently than he was when Atsumu saw him for the first time. He wore a black button-up with a red dragon on it, tight jeans that hugged his legs in a delicious way, and a black mask on his chin, exposing his lips for once. Atsumu wasn’t sure what Osamu had to do to make him take off his mask just a little bit, but nota bene he was glad about it. Sakusa had something in him that was gorgeous, and once again Atsumu was hit with a wave of greed and selfishness. 

“Miya said you guys wanted to see me.” He said, voice barely over the loud music. Kuroo scanned Sakusa from head to toe and whistled, leaning into Atsumu more. 

“Damn, maybe I should consider college in Tokyo in everyone there looks like that.” He teased, and Atsumu made sure to hit him in the ribs twice as hard as he usually would.

“Don’t listen to that bitch, he’s always like that.” He said, kicking Kuroo to make him move away from them. He only laughed, showed Atsumu his middle finger to which Atsumu stuck out his tongue at him, and then focused on serving two girls who were battling their eyelashes at him.

“You seem to feel better now, Miya.” Sakusa noticed, studying him carefully.

“This is my cup of tea, so yeah. I suppose I do. Want me to get you anything, sweetheart?” He said, flashing Sakusa the grin reserved for the customers only, teasing and confident, like he wasn’t staring at Kiyoomi hours before not knowing his own name. Kiyoomi seemed amused by that, a small smile tugging at his lips. 

“Get me water, asshole.”

Atsumu’s grin never fell down to the end of his shift.

* * *

The whole squad seemed to focus around Osamu and Sakusa. Atsumu sat back, leaning into the red seats at the corner of the club, drinking his soul away with mixed alcohols. He was glad he wasn’t alone, because Bokuto was doing the same, yet Bokuto had Akaashi watching over him. Atsumu was all alone because he wasn’t going to let Osamu stop him. He excused himself and stood up, moving towards the counter with Terushima and Tendou behind it. 

No one seemed to care about how wasted he was barely two hours into the drinking, besides the concerned glance Sakusa Kiyoomi sent his way.

“Is he always like that?” He asked softly, following Atsumu with his eyes, and the table fell quiet.

“Who? Miya?” Bokuto asked, arm around Akaashi. Sakusa nodded his head. “Nope. Only when he’s not alright.”

“Aren’t you guys his friends? Shouldn’t you like… talk to him or something?” 

“You don’t talk with Atsumu when he’s like that. Last time Bo tried it he ended up with a broken jaw.”

It wasn’t like Sakusa cared that Bokuto’s jaw ended up broken. Bokuto was obnoxious, so was Kuroo, and he lived with Osamu long enough to know he didn’t really know how shit worked either. Akaashi seemed to care only about Bokuto, and honestly, Sakusa couldn’t really blame him. 

He slipped off his seat and followed Miya Atsumu standing close to the blonde male.

“Miya. Should I get you home?” He tried, bugging into Atsumu’s arm with one fingertip. Atsumu turned his face to him and frowned slightly.

“I’m able to take care of myself” Atsumu seemed to struggle with his words, focusing fully on trying to sound as sober as he was able to. 

“Yeah, I know. I’m not sending you’re not, Miya. I’m offering help.” 

Atsumu was shorter than him. His body was slim yet he looked strong, even when he was drunk to the hell and back. There was something in him that made him look gorgeous, and Sakusa frowned. At first glance, Atsumu and Osamu looked exactly the same, yet he never ever called Osamu gorgeous.

But, there was  _ something  _ in the way the neon lights danced over his skin, eyes glassy and lips still wet from the alcohol. There was something in the way his hair was styled, exposing his forehead and making him look… better somehow. He wasn’t anything like Osamu, and the more time Sakusa spent watching him, the more he was sure about it.

“You should visit me in Tokyo next week.” He burst out, not even catching the words he said. Atsumu frowned at him.

“Why the fuck do ya care about it so much, Sakusa.”

Sakusa smiled.

“I’m trying to believe that you’re nothing like your brother, Miya.” He said. A lie. A lie so obvious and basically screaming off being untrue, yet the way Atsumu’s eyes seemed to shimmer a little bit more made the lie worth it.

And proved something Sakusa was suspecting since he stepped into the Miya’s household.

* * *

Atsumu lost the count of weekends he spent in Tokyo, sprawled across Osamu’s bed, and talking with Sakusa. He didn’t know how many times Sakusa tagged along with Osamu when Miya came home too, yet he knew that he couldn’t remember the last weekend without his twin and his twin’s roommate.

It was always  _ with _ Osamu. Visiting Osamu  _ and _ Sakusa. It was always Osamu, yet Atsumu couldn’t bring himself to care because, at the end of the day, when Osamu was sound asleep, Atsumu was sneaking out with the taller male. Either they were walking around Tokyo or sitting in Miya’s kitchen, cups with black coffee with exactly zero sugar and zero milk, just to rant about how disgusting it was and laugh at how stupid they were. They talked. They talked about the most random shit they could talk about, and Atsumu tried not to notice the way Sakusa was always sitting an inch closer to him, letting their fingers brush for a second longer, or watched him with a little bit more fondness in his eyes.

“Have you ever considered being your own person, Atsumu?” Sakusa asked that night, and Atsumu tensed.

“What do you mean?” He pressed, just to be sure.

“Like, stop being known as Osamu’s twin? Do something you want to do, not what people expect you to do for your brother?” The black-haired male stopped for a while, taking a sip of his coffee and thinking. Atsumu let him. “I probably shouldn’t be saying it because Osamu’s my best friend but… Have you ever thought about being just a little bit selfish?”

Atsumu never wanted anything for himself. He wasn’t greedy and definitely didn’t want to be selfish, loving his brother way too much for that. Yet the way that one light from the kitchen illuminated Sakusa’s face, making him look so much softer made something in his chest twist. 

After all those weekends he had to agree with himself over one, little detail. Before he met Sakusa he never wanted anything. The world was Osamu’s, and Atsumu was there just to support him and make sure nothing would take it away from Osamu’s hands. Osamu and Atsumu came in a pack, but Osamu was able to exist without Atsumu, and Atsumu was no one. Nonexistent people didn’t get the privilege of wanting something. That’s what Atsumu thought before.

Now, Atsumu’s skin crawled. His chest was empty, begging to be filled and every second he spent away from those careful eyes seemed like a waste of time. His head seemed to ease a little every time he saw that lips, tugged in a gentle grin he wore only around Atsumu. Miya Atsumu wanted Sakusa Kiyoomi.

He cherished those moments when he felt his eyes on him. He saved all the memories of their skin touching accidentally in his head for late nights without Sakusa when he recalled those moments and smiled like a madman. He spent his money on tickets to Tokyo, and he knew Sakusa did the same. He craved Sakusa. 

“Right now being selfish could only destroy whatever I have for myself every weekend.” He said weakly, and Sakusa sent him that grin that made Atsumu’s head spin. 

He tried not to think that Sakusa watched him. Always having his eyes on Atsumu, listening to him with every inch of his being, sometimes sliding his head through Atsumu’s hair. He tried not to think that Sakusa was riding all over from Tokyo to see him, to sit with him during those nights, and watch him under that one kitchen light. He tried not to think about all of it, yet when Sakusa leaned back in his seat, watching him with a question and a dare in his eyes, it all came back to him like a train, leaving him breathless. 

“I want you to be selfish, Atsumu. Do something your minds beg you to do. The only thing in your head right now. Don’t worry about the consequences.” 

Atsumu’s head was foggy as after a short second of hesitation he stood from his seat under Sakusa’s careful stare. He turned to the taller male and gulped. “You told me to do this, remember that.” He mumbled, and Sakusa nodded, not daring to open his mouth.

The blonde moved closer, hovering over Kiyoomi, moving his eyes over his face. This close, even in the shitty light he could clearly see the way Sakusa’s hair curled sweetly, begging Atsumu to touch it and curl them around his fingers. He could see how beautiful were the moles above his eyebrow, and how long were his eyelashes. He could see the tension in Sakusa’s eyes and he could hear that his breath hitched, as he sat there, unmoving and waiting. 

There was this brief second of realization that he had that power over Kiyoomi. That Sakusa was watching him like that, not breathing and probably not thinking, with a silent beg in his eyes. Atsumu grinned and pressed his lips to the corner of Sakusa’s own, before straightening his back ready to walk back up the stairs to his room, leaving Sakusa in the kitchen dumbfounded.

There was a sharp tug on his arm before he was able to take the first step and before he could register what was happening, he was sitting on Sakusa’s lap, knees on both of his sides and hands resting on Sakusa’s chest. 

Sakusa watched him, clearly pleased with himself as he moved closer, lips next to Atsumu’s ear.

“Mind if I will be selfish for a second too?” He whispered, hands creeping up Atsumu’s thighs to rest on his hips and the blonde shivered. 

“Go on, Kiyoomi.”

One of the hands left his hip and tugged his hair, making him move his head back a little, and he was met with Sakusa’s lips on his own. The kiss was hungry and harsh, with Sakusa sucking on his bottom lip slightly. Atsumu sighed, opening his lips and allowing Sakusa to kiss him deeper, tug him closer, touch him more.

He had his hands under Sakusa’s shirt, and that one hand previously resting on his hip moved back a little to grip his ass, making him moan just a little into Sakusa’s mouth. Sakusa moved back and stared at him, eyes darker and lips swollen from the kissing. 

“You’re fucking gorgeous.” Atsumu whispered, finally letting his hands travel into Kiyoomi’s hair. Those pretty, black locks that never left his mind for the past weeks. Sakusa groaned, closing his eyes and shivering under Atsumu and it was the prettiest sight he saw in his fucking life. He was ready, so ready to slide off Sakusa’s lap and kneel on the floor, ready to see the total bliss on Sakusa’s face as he swallowed him but then-

“Jesus Christ.” Someone said, and Atsumu almost jumped onto the floor and probably hit his head against the table if it wasn’t for Sakusa’s hands gripping him tightly. Both of them snapped their heads towards the voice and Atsumu felt himself flush red at the sight of his brother, staring at them with his mouth open, clearly freshly woken up. “I just wanted to drink some water, what the fuck are you guys doing there?” He asked, like he didn’t just saw them moan into each other’s mouths. 

“I’m teaching your little brother selfishness, what else does it look like we’re doing. Go back to sleep Osamu, no one wants you here.” Sakusa snapped, rolling his eyes. Osamu squinted at him, marching into the kitchen and snatching a bottle of water.

“You’re fucking disgusting, Kiyo. Almost fucking my twin in our kitchen. Disgusting, you hear me?” 

“Atsumu should have eaten you in the fucking womb, bitch. Get the fuck out, we’re busy.” 

Osamu rolled his eyes but left the kitchen, storming upstairs and making the door close loudly, making both of them cringe. Atsumu hoped it didn’t wake their parents.

He didn’t get much time to think about it, because Sakusa’s lips were on him again, and the next second he was being carried in Sakusa’s hands, kissing Sakusa’s lips as Kiyoomi walked upstairs, closing the door to Atsumu’s room with his foot.

“Be sure to be loud enough for your bitch brother to hear you, I’m in the mood to annoy the living shit out of him.” Sakusa said, dropping him onto the bed and snatching his shirt off of him.

Atsumu grinned, leaning on his elbows as he watched his lover undress.

“You got it, Kiyoomi.”

  
  
  



End file.
